It hurts to write this

I can't explain how lovely it feels when someone offers their house.

Someone in Santa Fe has opened their house and filled in yet another hole on the tour. Sometimes I have to sit and laugh at the thought that all this is actually working. That people are actually making this happen. This astounds me.

I'm in Canada right now, near Toronto actually. I am on vacation with a few friends and so far it has been quite decent in the land of the maple leaf. I bought a Cuban cigar the other day and smoked it whilst laying on a dock and staring in the deepest, inkiest, most infinite blackness of stars that I have ever seen. It was certainly something to exist for.

We walked through the "hippie" district of Toronto yesterday. It seemed like a nice place to live. Very comfy, very cozy. Right there, in the middle of a metropolis. I walked past these two girls playing guitar on the street. I came back hours later and saw them sitting in the same spots, both sunburned and with a sign that read REAL STARVING ARTISTS. I have explained my views on what an artist is and if you haven't read it, well then here's a link (it's near the end). But it really bothered me that these girls were trying to use the notion of being artists to evoke emotions and thus spare change from pockets to plastic cups. Not only that but it ultimately excused their not having a job and, essentially, not contributing to society. Instead they were panhandling in a hippie district--something like preaching to the choir to me--and were so determined not to work that they were willing to be sunburned in order "fight the man" or "oppose capitalism."

Now's here the twist.

Then how am I different?

I am not.

I'm doing the exact same thing.

Now, I don't embrace the title of "artist" at all but I think essentially we're the same. Driving from house to house, mooching off of people, sleeping on their couches, eating their food, meeting their friends. I'm not working this summer because of the tour and I'm not really sure why people should help me out. I'm sure there are some difference between me and those girls but essentially, we're the same.

It hurts to write this.