day 5: third day in los angeles

i woke up and it was saturday. i had been wearing the same clothes for some time. the sleeves of my cardigan were dimming at the edges. we had scrambled tofu for breakfast. i began to feel very 'adventist' again. we went to my friend's church. it was in loma linda. this is an adventist town. almost everyone who lives there is adventist. i grew up seventh-day adventist. i went to seventh-day adventist private schools my entire life. i just graduated college from one. i saw people from high school there. i saw people from college. i saw people from everywhere. i felt very afraid. i went inside a dark room. there was a 'praise band' playing music. it was indignantly 'progressive' but in reality, 'utterly innocuous'. my eyes got used to the dark and the band 'leader' was an asshole i knew from high school. i walked out immediately. i met a high school friend. we went to starbucks. we talked for a very long time. i went back to maranatha's. had potluck. watched an eroll morriss documentary about a plane crash. a few hours we left for LA again. we left a little later than i would've liked. i didn't want to be late to sound check. i felt very nervous. then we hit traffic. i could not do any of the things i usually do to help me deal with stress. i was in car. sitting. and with some strangers. i began to twitch. it was the first time it happened. i was going to be late. and every time i thought about that jerked or rolled my shoulders or something. we finally got the venue and i was exhausted. we tested our levels. outside some people from a web site were talking to us. they bought us beer at a 7-11 and i drank it behind a dumpster. i had left my wallet in someone's car. i couldn't get into the club. i had to wait oustide. the venue was 21+. the wallet came and i went in. i had a few more beers. i was nervous. all the bands played and then we played. i thought it was okay. i felt a little too nervous. maybe it sounded better than i thought. afterward we went back to the house and watched alejandro jorodowsky films. i was half asleep. i saw a caveman walked through a tunnel of life. i opened my eyes and it was the middle of the night. i had fallen asleep on the couch.