Day 7: train to santa fe/santa fe

i woke up in the morning feeling less lonely but also very cold. they turn the air up in these trains and it was miserable. in the middle of the night i had to put on another shirt and a sweater because i didn't have blanket or anything. i woke up and looked out the window. behind me and grandmother was trying to teach her daughter manners in spanish. she kept telling her to say 'excuse me'. then the baby started crying and the grandmother said, 'you don't love me anymore? huh? you don't love me? i'm your grandmother. you don't love me?' i don't know what the baby did. it was about 10:00 and we would roll into santa fe around 2. a few hours later i got seatmate. i wasn't in the mood for a seatmate so i went to the lounge car and stayed there for the rest of the trip. in the lounge car there were sassy little kids who were loud and kept bothering me. and yelling. i didn't talk to anyone. i started writing a letter to a friend i was at odds with. my stop finally came and i was happy to get off. i got in my car and drove to santa fe. at a stop sign i finally, for the first time in 4 days, got to hear nothing. silence. the desert was open and beautiful. the sky was huge. i stayed at that stop sign just a little bit longer. it felt so so so good. i found danielle's house and let myself in. i took a shower and when i came out one of her roommates was there. i had met him last year. we talked for some time but mostly just hung out. then i remembered i hadn't registered to vote. it was a big to do. i printed out the forms. filled them out. and ran to a post office. got it postmarked by the right date. i was so excited. now i go around asking people if they are registered. before i didn't even think about it. then we went to dinner at this small thai cafe. when you walk in you are hit with this wall of beautiful smells. we had good food. and then left. went home and i decided to go to sleep. however i kept findings things to do online. then the gay aerliast guy came home and i talked to him for a while. very interesting. then i went to sleep in a stranger's bedroom.

day 6: fourth day in los angeles

i woke up this morning. it was very relaxed morning. everyone seemed to wake up at the same time. we all talked and then i said goodbye to everyone because i would be leaving that afternoon. i was sad to say goodbye to the dog because she was beautiful and always wanted to fight me, which i gladly accepted. everyone left and the cleaning lady came and we tried to get out of her way. that day we would be shooting some things for dublab. one guy from dublab came and picked us up and took us the natural history museum. we would be shooting in the diamond and gem vault. it took some time to set up and i tried to be professional but got bored quickly. i also had a very anti-shoe urge then so i walked around the museum shoeless looking at all these amazing diagrams. during a break two girls came up to me and asked if i wanted to be in a photoshoot. apparently the museum does these concerts in one particular hall and they need to take pictures for some promotional brochure or something. i agreed and we went into this hall with a giant serengeti diagram. absolutely spectacular. there was a DJ who looked bored. i think he was embarrassed that they had to bring people into listen to him and then make them dance for the picture. i made good conversation with these girls. i was very proud. i wasn't sure if i would be needed so i went back to our shoot and decided to stay because i didn't feel like dancing for a bored DJ. i walked past later and saw like 5 kids dancing goofy-like and was very glad that i didn't stay. we did a few more shooting and i was very tired and stressed just from being in giant city with cars and smog and palm trees, that was bizarre: palm trees in a metropolis. weird. i was way tired and i think maybe i was feeling sad for having to be alone on a train for a long time. we finished the shoot and then the guy who gave us a ride, took us to the train station. i said goodbye to danielle. i went inside and sat for an hour or so listening to music on my computer. finally it was my turn to board and i went on the train and felt sadder and sadder. it was the first time i was alone, alone for a long time. i sat in my chair and then went to go write in the lounge car. i don't remember anything else but just being super lonely and tired and exhausted and sleepy. i went back to my seat and fell asleep but woke up during the night because the seats were uncomfortable.

day 5: third day in los angeles

i woke up and it was saturday. i had been wearing the same clothes for some time. the sleeves of my cardigan were dimming at the edges. we had scrambled tofu for breakfast. i began to feel very 'adventist' again. we went to my friend's church. it was in loma linda. this is an adventist town. almost everyone who lives there is adventist. i grew up seventh-day adventist. i went to seventh-day adventist private schools my entire life. i just graduated college from one. i saw people from high school there. i saw people from college. i saw people from everywhere. i felt very afraid. i went inside a dark room. there was a 'praise band' playing music. it was indignantly 'progressive' but in reality, 'utterly innocuous'. my eyes got used to the dark and the band 'leader' was an asshole i knew from high school. i walked out immediately. i met a high school friend. we went to starbucks. we talked for a very long time. i went back to maranatha's. had potluck. watched an eroll morriss documentary about a plane crash. a few hours we left for LA again. we left a little later than i would've liked. i didn't want to be late to sound check. i felt very nervous. then we hit traffic. i could not do any of the things i usually do to help me deal with stress. i was in car. sitting. and with some strangers. i began to twitch. it was the first time it happened. i was going to be late. and every time i thought about that jerked or rolled my shoulders or something. we finally got the venue and i was exhausted. we tested our levels. outside some people from a web site were talking to us. they bought us beer at a 7-11 and i drank it behind a dumpster. i had left my wallet in someone's car. i couldn't get into the club. i had to wait oustide. the venue was 21+. the wallet came and i went in. i had a few more beers. i was nervous. all the bands played and then we played. i thought it was okay. i felt a little too nervous. maybe it sounded better than i thought. afterward we went back to the house and watched alejandro jorodowsky films. i was half asleep. i saw a caveman walked through a tunnel of life. i opened my eyes and it was the middle of the night. i had fallen asleep on the couch.

day 4: second day in los angeles

we woke up this morning and went down to that same cafe to eat. we would be doing some shooting for a website called white canvas, who i don't think are up and running yet. they picked us up and took us to griffith where we hiked up into the hills and played around. when i say 'they' i mean 'three people'. they were very nice but maybe a little too nice. they kept trying to be helpful and kept asking things and seeing if we were okay. i felt like a celebrity, it was uncomfortable. the hills were somewhat burned up because of some fire a number of months ago. we climbed up a hill and played music in a tree. then we did a faery reading for each other under these gnarled tree branches. after this it was nearly 1 pm and we had another compromise. so we finished and they took us back to silver lake. i fell asleep and when i woke up we were lost. finally we got to the house and paul, the manager of danielle's label, was waiting at the house. paul was super nice and very funny. he is a stylist by day and runs the label on the side. it is called manimal vinyl. he took us to a radio station. we would be playing some music on indie 103 and voices voices would be joining us. we showed up and moved all our gear in. it took us a little bit to set up. we played and it was good and fine. after this we all went to a english pub called cat and fiddle. by this time, my friend maranatha was supposed to come pick me up. she got lost for a little bit. she finally got there and i was very happy to see her. she taught english in prague with me. we left for her house in riverside and then i decided i hated los angeles. it took us an hour and a half to get there. traffic was terrible. even at night. having a car is the worst. we got to riverside and had dinner with some of her friends. there i met an aaron roche who turned out to be a very good musician. i listened to some of his music later and really liked it. we left and that night i fell asleep on the floor of maranatha's bedroom.

day 3: first day in los angeles

the night was terrible. the seats were very difficult to sleep in and they make it very cold so you have to wear sleep under some kind of blanket. i woke up many times in the night. i finally decided to stay awake around 4:30. i fell asleep around 8 and then the gay porter woke me up gruffly telling me we were close to LA. i watched all the factories come up. it was depressing. all the cars and the smog and the aluminum buildings. we didn't say anything until we got off the train pulling all the bags and carrying an impossible load of things. we finally picked up my guitar and took a cab to danielle's friend's house. the house was very 'posh' with little 'modernist' details here and there. it was very pretty. i took a shower. i sat outside for an hour in the sun near the trees trying to feel good about nature and 'the progress of man'. there was a constant hum of traffic. somewhere past the trees there was a school having relay races. i knew they were relay races because a teacher-sounding person kept yelling 'on your mark, get set, go' and then children would scream. we walked down to a cafe and had breakfast. the coffee shop was full. i wondered if people actually work in los angeles. then we played 'who would you fuck?' danielle and i both picked this girl who was sitting by me. then danielle's friend justin came and we went to eat lunch at the los angeles police academy which apparently has a cafeteria open to the public with really good food. we ate there and then we went to watch people shoot guns in the shooting ranges. justin kept saying very funny things and i kept laughing quietly to myself. he turned out to be a very funny person. after the cafe justin took us back to the house. we watched muriel's wedding. this movie made me cry. i felt so terrible. i felt very sad for myself. i felt sad for everyone. the movie 'blended comedy and humor' very well. we drew and burned more CDs. we basically did this for a long time. then we went to have beer and pizza at someone's house and watched the vice presidential debates. sarah palin was on a roll. she kept saying 'tap into' and one drunk guy would yell 'tap that!' loudly and i don't know why, but it was funny every time. then we left and got picked up to go practice with the girls from voices voices. they came to pick us up from north hollywood or something. we were exhausted. we rehearsed and it was fun. i was too tired to know if it was good or not. danielle and i went to get starbucks. a girl there gave me a funny look. i gave her the funny look back. we went home and turned in.

townes van zandt - 'waitin around to die'

day 3: train to los angeles

woke up kind of late. rushed around and got the car packed. we had to get on the train at 2. i packed us a lunch of salad leaves, fresh tomatoes, sharp cheddar, lasagna, granola, and rye bread with olive oil and italian dressing. we got to the train and found out we couldn't take so much stuff. we left some things in my car in the parking lot. it had been a stressful morning so we finished off half a bottle of the rum danielle had gotten the other night to make mojitos. drunk in the parking lot. under 10 minutes. we stumbled to the platform and giggled a lot. the train came and it was a challenge to put the bags into their right places. when we did we whispered loudly and kept laughing. by then i was tuckered out. i fell asleep. woke up and we had the lunch i packed. then we talked for a long while and then decided to go to the lounge car. we stayed in the lounge car for some time. we made some phone calls and afterward ran into each other again in the lounge car. danielle gave me a faery reading. the sun was setting and the rocks were red. i drew 'the soul shrinker' and then 'a collective of pixies'. i made myself a coke and rum, minus the coke and plus root beer. i became quite drunk and we laughed 'into the night'. the loungue car felt like an evolved form of a hobo boxcar: there were men playing blues, playing cards, and me drunk. after that we slept.

day 2: pecos, new mexico

Monday:

woke up and danielle made me chai. i liked this particular morning best. we were very quiet for the morning. we rode into santa fe. danielle would be moving and need boxes. we went to eat at a place called tune-up cafe. we ran into a friend. i had met her last year when i passed through town on tour. we decided we would all have dinner with her and some people on wednesday. danielle and i would play music. we ate outside. we talked about david bowie. we talked about adrogynous people and how attractive they are. we left and found boxes behind some stores in dumpsters. we went to a health food place where i read gossip magazines and danielle did things. we went to office max and i bought CDs to burn and sell. we came home and danielle started packing things. i listened to brian eno and drew the cover art for my new EP. i will post a picture of it later. danielle gave me a copy of 'leaves of grass' and some chapbooks she'd gotten in new york. we went to meet her mom in santa fe at a delicious nepali food restaurant. danielle's mom is riot. olga is a baker. she is building her own house, literally, brick by brick. she says bricks are hard to make. her hands are like sandpaper. we went home. i played some songs on my guitar for olga. after i finished each one, she explained to me exactly why she liked them with specific details. after olga, went to bed we kept watching the man who fell too earth. i like david bowie but i was really tired. i went to sleep again on the floor.

day 1: drive to santa fe

sorry it's taken me so long to update. i really thought i would be able to update daily but i really had very little time to do much of my own thing. i also couldn't find a sony camera/usb cord to upload pictures. i will do so once i get back.

Sunday:

left around 8 AM and had breakfast at a waffle house near catoosa, ok. the large waitress kept calling me 'baby' and rubbing my shoulders. i felt oddly comfortable. we played a game called 'who would you fuck?'. danielle chose 'black cook'. i chose 'big mama'. we left and drove for a long time. while i was sleeping the sun-eye-shielder broke. that was bad news when we got into new mexico. the sun is very difficult to avoid. we kept driving. we stopped in amarillo, tx and bought vegetables to make a salad in the car. i don't remember. we ate it. we told many secrets and revealed ideas. i don't know. we got to danielle's one room-house in pecos, new mexico. in the sky the stars were incredible. i'd never seen so many clumped together. then we watched half of the man who fell to earth. that night i slept on a comfy mattress on the floor.