Denver...Denver

I was convinced by some great people in Santa Fe to take the scenic route to Denver: Highway 285. What they didn't tell me was how confusing it was to stay on that single highway.

By taking I-25, you can get to Denver in about 6 hours. Somehow I turned it into a 9 hour trip. The thing about small highways is that there are so many of them that they weave in and out of each other.

Other than that the drive was unbelievable. Jagged cliffs and rutted mountain faces and towering clouds, expansive sky. I'm telling you: it was the most beautiful thing I've seen on this trip. At more than one point I felt tears well up in my soul from sheer joy and happiness. I can't explain how beautiful it was to me. At times I wished I had someone to share it with, to help me absorb the enormity of it all. Those moments usually gave way to of feeling like a sponge and attempting to absorb all the beauty by myself.

I arrived to Denver around 7:30 with the show starting at 8. My laptop batter had died taking with it the directions as to my host's apartment. I even tried calling her a few times with the minimal phone battery I had managed to conserve after having left my charger in Denton. Although I had made it into Denver about 2 hours before I wasn't able to find the apartment for quite some time. I finally ran across it by total chance and buzzed up but got no answer. So I walked up and figured out which door was hers. I knock and her sister answers. There's no one else home.

I realize that we had committed a great miscommunication. Apparently, Erin thought I would bring people to her house and she would host. But I don't know anyone in Denver. And also she was really sick. So a show wouldn't have been a good idea, plus I was hella tire from my crazy drive. So me and her and her sister hung out. Then these two other guys showed up who had been traveling the country for a year or so.

This morning I went to church with my host's sister. It wasn't so much a church as it was a spiritual community. At one point the band broke into some kind of 70s throwback funk and everybody got up and started dancing. The speaker spoke about centering our chakra's and getting rid of negative energy. I enjoyed the new scope of people I experienced but couldn't help but feeling afterward that it had all been a performance.

Now my host in Boulder seems to have flaked on me. I don't know what to do. Should I stay in Denver and go to a cajun cook off and maybe play a show? Or should I go to downtown Boulder and play on the street? Either way, I will have to talk to people I don't know which, as always, runs the risk of awkwardness. I really just want to be with someone I know. I hate making friends and then leaving. I wish I were back in Santa Fe with those nice people, or maybe just in Spokane already. I can't wait to see Emily. Loneliness has been my adversary on this trip.

In any case, I'll write more later.

Review Albuquerque/Santa Fe Shows

Sleeping in your car is not as romantic as it sounds. In a sense, it is, but not as much as I thought it would be.

First of all, because of my gear in the backseat, I couldn't recline completely so all night I slept just almost at a point where I was flat but not exactly. This drove my insane. Otherwise, the night was pleasant. A desert thunderstorm was brewing and I fell asleep to the heat of the parched earth beneath my feet and the rumblings of the sky over my head. I even slept with the windows rolled down and with a foot sticking out. I could feel the desert breeze between my toes. Friends, that was freedom. Initially, I found a spot to park my car. It was on a construction-looking site and behind a trailer so I would clear from the road should any of Albuquerque's finest spot me whilst patrolling the premise. Eventually, I was able to curl up and get some uncomfortably positioned sleep.

The next morning the police came. I saw them before they saw me. They went inside and I totally booked it. There's something terribly funny about running from the police while in a blurry stupor after waking up. I was laughing for 20 minutes by myself.

The night before I actually googled "My parents don't know I'm homeless" and found a lot of tips on what to do when you're homeless. Spent a lot of time in the library and read some William Saroyan. I swear, that man inspires to be better. Then I decided to learn Portuguese. So I'm doing that.

I knew I couldn't take another night in a car so I wrote my hosts and they said I could come that night if I wanted. So I did. Ryan and Lindsey were so nice. We stayed up late talking about music and sharing it. The next day Ryan took me out for breakfast with some other friends and good times were had. That night we went to communion. I hadn't been to one in quite some time. We came home and everyone at and hung out and smoked hookah and laughed and talked. It was great. Unfortunately, the show was not. I hated the way I sounded and everything was just way too sloppy. I managed to make good gas money that night however. God bless their hearts, they bought CDs notwithstanding my horrible sound.

The next day I rested and took care of some things and then drove to Santa Fe. Apparently, my host invited a bunch of people and only about half came, which was still a lot of people for me. That's one thing about promotion: if you promote for 50 people expect 25 to show. I decided to stay another day and so tonight I'm going to see his band play at a bike bar outside of town called the Mineshaft. Anyway, I struck conversation with a certain Danielle who was really nice and turned out to be a musician. She mentioned that she hadn't toured the US very much but had gotten back from a European thing with some other bands. I go "Really, that's cool. Who are these bands?" She goes, "Oh it's this band called Grizzly Bear and another one called CoCoRosie."

My mouth literally dropped.

Those were the last two bands I was expecting. At the most, I thought she had toured with a bunch of friends but two established bands who I coincidentally really like. Apparently, she's signed to Gnomonsong--a San Fransisco label started by Devendra Banhart and who represent the Papercuts and Jana Hunter. Danielle is in a band called Rio En Medio. She's going to be playing the same show with my host. I've decided not to listen to anything on her MySpace in order to go in completely fresh for tonight's show. I'm excited because I saw her working with my host on some video art to be projected while she plays. It involves home video all shot on Super 8mm. This will be a good show.

As for my show, I was very satisfied. The acoustics were perfect and the energy from the people was spectacular. I've never had a rowdier crowd. It helped keep me on edge. Afterwards, I got a HUGE hug from one guy. Seriously, it was a squeeze and a half and I think I've needed a hug like that for some time now. As a matter of fact there was a lot of hugging going on that night. Everyone was friends and they just hugged each other and loved each other. Moments like these are the most beautiful of the tour: seeing people connect and seeing how different people love other people in different ways.

This morning we went out for breakfast with the other guys from D Numbers--my host's band. We laughed and talked about energies and influences at a cozy Southwestern cafe named Cafe Pascual. I leave tomorrow morning, bright and early. Someone suggested that I take the scenic route to Denver. So I plan to leave early in order to see the sights of the road and to have some time of hanging out in Denver. So far, I feel so satisfied with how everything is going. I really can't complain. I love my life.

My parents don't know I'm homeless...

That's a funny thought.

I'm sitting in a diner in downtown Albuquerque that could have been clipped right out of the 1970s: brown and orange vinyl seats, paper thin place mats, and strange glassware. I don't know where I'll be sleeping tonight. Most likely in my car, possibly a residential area, and in a well-lit region.

I thought I would come to Albuquerque to visit a friend but the more I thought about it, the worse of an idea it became. I was already a few hours down the road and couldn't turn around. So here I am. My show is on Wednesday so I few days early and too shy to ask my hosts to sleep there tonight. So I've been loitering ever since.

This isn't my first experience with loitering. Some friends and I loitered in a Greek cafe in Thessaloníki after arriving at the train station at 1 AM and while waiting for our train to 7 AM train to Athens. We ordered a sandwich and ate it in the upstairs loft where other winos had gotten the same idea we had: chill/sleep here until morning. They all sat with their heads on the tables passed out. The owner came up yelling and pushing people out of chairs. He also accused my friend Rheu of being drunk because he was sleeping. That brings back a chuckle...

A few hours ago, I was reminded me of my home away from home: Prague. How so? Police brutality exhibited on homeless and inebriated men. I sat down at the Wendy's across the street and watched the whole thing happen while eating a chili cup--my first taste of meat since I became vegetarian. I'm getting too skinny. Gotta eat more meat.

I wish I had my bike. I would love to ride through this city.
I might take a walk later. The waitress is giving me a funny look for being here too long.

In another effort to save gas I've begun to drive extended lengths of road with only the vent to cool me down in the desert heat. Today I reached an all time low as to my frugality.

I drove naked.

That's right. Not only was I sufficiently cooled down but there's a rush that comes when people drive by completely oblivious as to your nudity. The only thing to look out for is truck drivers because they're up higher. My theory is that fellow sub-compacts can't see too far into your car and if they can, your midsection is most likely out of sight. Now, I'm not a really naked kind of guy. In the words of Woody Allen, "I prefer not to get naked in front of a man of my same gender." But the experience was really quite liberating. And I mean, how often do you get sun on that part of your body. The answer is probably not very often considering America's Judeo-Christian prudeness.

Another experience of today: I am documenting my trip via Polaroid film. It's harder than you might think. My viewfinder is screwy, I think. In any case, I tried taking a picture of the road while driving and stupidly stuck my head out the window while wearing my hat. Needless to say, it was blown off my head. I started freaking out because it's literally my favorite hat and I have only been reunited with it for a month after its year-long furlough in Jonny's car. I thought about leaving it back there but I couldn't stand leaving it all alone on the road. So I pulled off at the next bridge, jumped out and took my picture (which was at a better angle on the bridge), jumped back in my car and drove back east. I thought it would be torn to pieces from traffic but I kept looking for it. Finally, I spotted it across the median in the middle of the road! So I pulled off and waited for a few minutes until traffic cleared and booked it across the median. I knew it had blown off near a broken down car so as I pulled off the near the ill-fated vehicle, I spotted my hat right next to it. I guess some cars had kicked it over there. I got out and picked it up to survey the damage. Fortunately, damage was minimal. The bill wasn't even broken just scratched up and bent a little. I was so proud of myself! I got the polaroid and my hat. I was seriously on top of the world. Nothing could've brought me down from that high--not my financial situation, my ridiculous gas prices, or homeless nights. I was a giant.

Anyway, that's all for now...

Review Amarillo and Denton show

I'm in Amarillo at the moment, sitting at my host Tommy's house.

I played last night in an abandoned courtyard downtown with grass coming up between the bricks of the floor and vines growing on the dilapidated walls. It was a gorgeous night and you could see the stars perfectly.

It turns out that Amarillo's downtown is actually rather dead. Walking through it gives this eerie sense that you're in a zombie film because there a buildings everywhere and there's a healthy mix of modern and classic architecture but nobody's there. My host and a bunch of his friends are actually developers and are really passionate are renovating the downtown district. It was inspiring to listen to them talk about it.

I'll be leaving in a bit and headed to Albuquerque where I'm staying with a married couple. The show isn't until Wednesday so I thought I might hang out for a few days. Maybe sleep in the park or relax at a coffeehouse. I really don't know.

I drove the six hours from Denton to Amarillo yesterday. It was nice to have some quiet to meditate and think about things. I took a polaroid of the rolling plains. The ground is starting to become desert; little patches of red dirt stick out on the grass. I love the desert so much. I really can't wait. I hope it rains while I'm there.

I left my phone charger in Denton. My friend Dina is going to mail it. I want to make sure I get it so I'm gonna send it to Denver. I'll be there on Thursday. That should be enough, right? I hope so. I also hope that I'll meet someone with my same kind of charger.

I really liked the Denton show. It was a vegan potluck and everything, everything was vegan including some candy. We played and just had a lot of fun. The 715 Panhandle people were so nice! They just love each other and have fun and hang out. It's like a big family. I would love to live in Denton solely for the community of it all.

What else? I don't know what else.
I'm hungry. I think I'll treat myself to waffles.
Yum...

psalm 19

"The skies scream! Of glory and of God; their enormity is crushing! Day to day they speak to us and night to night they teach us. But not with words; their voices are listened to but never heard. Their clouds are but whispers; their horizons but bones of fingers that fold together for homes."


Smile! Today is like no other!

As we grow young

I'm in Austin, Texas at the moment sitting in the studio/house of BrandNameRadio where Dave and I will be playing for a small crowd of Austinite potluckers. I'm listening to Dave's new record right now and let me tell you--it's sounds spectacular.

Last night was the show in a town near Houston called Kemah which is a beautiful, little tucked away corner by the sea that boasts sailboats and astronauts. There was wine, spaghetti, and reverb. Reverb makes for a good show. The Hungry Villagers played also. They sounded pretty amazing. Abraham from the band came up to me and said something very interesting. He said that as we grow up, we also have to remember to grow young. Granted, he was a bit drunk at the time but nevertheless, the man spoke truth.

I didn't make much money last night but at least it helped with gas.

My mother keeps having these reoccurring dreams where I end up in a hospital from malnutrition and depression. It worries me that she takes them so seriously. She says she's going to start giving me more money for food. Which is just as well because I'm not sure how far my funds will end up carrying me.

My worries have evaded my for a few days now.
New ones are brewing. I heard about a few the other day.

After filling up today, I looked through my rear-view mirror to see my gas cap fly up in the air. Apparently, I hadn't screwed it back in after filling up. I turned around and looked up and down the highway for it. Luckily, Dave could see it in the road so I jumped out there and got it.

It's awfully hot here.
I will drink some water.
Ok.
Goodbye.

Friday the 13th and I'm not so lucky

It's very difficult for me not to be pessimistic right now.

The Texas leg of this tour was supposed to be the "money-maker'; the one to kind of set me for the rest of the trip. I figured this because I would touring with two friends who live in Texas. They are Dave Rask and Taylor Phillips. I figured they would know people and get us houses so I worried about the rest of my trip. I got us a show on the radio in Austin and Denton and a Dave got us a show in Houston. Unfortunately, that's all we've been able to manage.

Pick me ups:

• Getting to hang out with friends a little longer


• The Denton show looks like it's going to be really fun and by really fun i mean it's going to be a birthday bash/hang-out sesh/show/zombie dress-up. I'm going as a zombie and/or mad cow.


• I guess I don't have a third bullet...

The urge to be negative is almost overwhelming but hope is always stronger. I had an emotionally draining afternoon. I spoke with the mother of a dear friend who passed away in October. We talked about her and how beautiful she was and about her struggle and the adventure she was on hitch-hiking through California. It made me both very happy and very sad, especially when I heard her choke up during really difficult parts of the story.

But honestly, things could be a lot harder at the moment. All of my immediate family members are alive and healthy and we love each other. This is good. I went to a fun metal show last night. That was good. I'm met some nice girls last night at IHOP. I enjoyed it. I laughed this afternoon when putting up letters on a pharmacy store sign. And also, at the moment, a kitten is cuddled on my lap napping away.

I had a few too many cups of coffee last night and stayed up late surfing the web. As it was, I found out a few things about saving gas. Apparently, if you add 10 mL to every gallon of gas you pump, you can save butt loads of gas. I'm willing to try this. Also, I found this other web site that Jonny had told me about called Lifehack.org and it has a lot of interesting articles in it. It has info that helps you save money and improve your life because it operates on the GTD ethic--which is another really cool thing I read up on last night.

The end of the beginning approaches

This is a picture I found randomly on MySpace. It was of the Kansas City show at my friend Eric's sister's 18th backyard birthday party.

So update...or rather, tidbits.

• The tour officially, officially starts on Sunday...gaping holes remain as to the dates.
• Last week was a blur of undernourishment, anxiety, caffeine and inadequate times of sleep.
• Ky came home from Prague.
  
• I had my first experience with excellent California red wine which, ironically enough, was bought in the Czech Republic.
  
• I've bought film for my Polaroid camera to document the trip.
  
• A ill-mannered and sociopathic daschound gnawed through my Powerbook charger.
  
• I bought a new Powerbook charger.
• I began reading a Johnny Cash biography named The Man Called Cash
• I have been experiencing moments of plaguing self-doubt and gut-wrenching indecision.
• I got a letter from my friend Katrina Emery; she had the sweetest things to say
• I checked out my engine fluids and bought little things for the trip; this is a good feeling: micro-managing
• As I write this I am downloading the Tropicália an album I've been interested in for about 2 years now.
  
• A friend and I have decided to start an independent zine in Lincoln when I come back next semester, so if you're from the area be on the look out for that.
  

I saw Boogie Nights yesterday for the first time in about 4 years. I was discussing it with a friend--who had admittedly never seen it--over the phone All she could see was that the story was about degenerates having sex and doing coke. But good Lordie if that Paul Thomas Anderson didn't make me tear up. That film has some deeply moving and pure moments I've ever seen in cinema. It was just so inspiring seeing that family of misfits loving each other however backwards and flagrant that love may have been. This is the kind of family I want to start, the kind of family that I want us to be: impure but trying, flawed but aware.

Let's keep trying.
I feel like I don't have anything important to say.