spring tour

los angeles trip pictures

santa fe, new mexico -- danielle's mother olga



griffith park, shoot for whitecanvas.


voices voices

vice presidential debates. sarah palin said 'tap it' a lot.





silverlake


spaceland



indie 103 FM

day 8: drive to siloam springs, ar

i woke up early that morning and got all my things ready. i was determined to leave on time. i moved through the house in the dark groping for most of my things and only turning on the lights in my room when i needed to. finally i was ready to leave. then i remembered that i had left my overhead projector in a room where codhi was sleeping. i considered leaving it and hoping to get it back sometime but i practiced being assertive and doing what i had to do. i went in apologizing and he was very nice about it. i saw what i needed and i grabbed it. when i left i felt very strong and i was laughing at myself and at my strength. i was very proud. i got in my car and started to drive. i think one of the most comforting things for me is getting into a car early in the morning and driving. doing this in the desert is especially wonderful. i thought about many many things. i felt overlapping increments of peace, inspiration, and joy. also small percentages of restlessness and anxiety. i will post pictures now.

Day 7: train to santa fe/santa fe

i woke up in the morning feeling less lonely but also very cold. they turn the air up in these trains and it was miserable. in the middle of the night i had to put on another shirt and a sweater because i didn't have blanket or anything. i woke up and looked out the window. behind me and grandmother was trying to teach her daughter manners in spanish. she kept telling her to say 'excuse me'. then the baby started crying and the grandmother said, 'you don't love me anymore? huh? you don't love me? i'm your grandmother. you don't love me?' i don't know what the baby did. it was about 10:00 and we would roll into santa fe around 2. a few hours later i got seatmate. i wasn't in the mood for a seatmate so i went to the lounge car and stayed there for the rest of the trip. in the lounge car there were sassy little kids who were loud and kept bothering me. and yelling. i didn't talk to anyone. i started writing a letter to a friend i was at odds with. my stop finally came and i was happy to get off. i got in my car and drove to santa fe. at a stop sign i finally, for the first time in 4 days, got to hear nothing. silence. the desert was open and beautiful. the sky was huge. i stayed at that stop sign just a little bit longer. it felt so so so good. i found danielle's house and let myself in. i took a shower and when i came out one of her roommates was there. i had met him last year. we talked for some time but mostly just hung out. then i remembered i hadn't registered to vote. it was a big to do. i printed out the forms. filled them out. and ran to a post office. got it postmarked by the right date. i was so excited. now i go around asking people if they are registered. before i didn't even think about it. then we went to dinner at this small thai cafe. when you walk in you are hit with this wall of beautiful smells. we had good food. and then left. went home and i decided to go to sleep. however i kept findings things to do online. then the gay aerliast guy came home and i talked to him for a while. very interesting. then i went to sleep in a stranger's bedroom.

day 6: fourth day in los angeles

i woke up this morning. it was very relaxed morning. everyone seemed to wake up at the same time. we all talked and then i said goodbye to everyone because i would be leaving that afternoon. i was sad to say goodbye to the dog because she was beautiful and always wanted to fight me, which i gladly accepted. everyone left and the cleaning lady came and we tried to get out of her way. that day we would be shooting some things for dublab. one guy from dublab came and picked us up and took us the natural history museum. we would be shooting in the diamond and gem vault. it took some time to set up and i tried to be professional but got bored quickly. i also had a very anti-shoe urge then so i walked around the museum shoeless looking at all these amazing diagrams. during a break two girls came up to me and asked if i wanted to be in a photoshoot. apparently the museum does these concerts in one particular hall and they need to take pictures for some promotional brochure or something. i agreed and we went into this hall with a giant serengeti diagram. absolutely spectacular. there was a DJ who looked bored. i think he was embarrassed that they had to bring people into listen to him and then make them dance for the picture. i made good conversation with these girls. i was very proud. i wasn't sure if i would be needed so i went back to our shoot and decided to stay because i didn't feel like dancing for a bored DJ. i walked past later and saw like 5 kids dancing goofy-like and was very glad that i didn't stay. we did a few more shooting and i was very tired and stressed just from being in giant city with cars and smog and palm trees, that was bizarre: palm trees in a metropolis. weird. i was way tired and i think maybe i was feeling sad for having to be alone on a train for a long time. we finished the shoot and then the guy who gave us a ride, took us to the train station. i said goodbye to danielle. i went inside and sat for an hour or so listening to music on my computer. finally it was my turn to board and i went on the train and felt sadder and sadder. it was the first time i was alone, alone for a long time. i sat in my chair and then went to go write in the lounge car. i don't remember anything else but just being super lonely and tired and exhausted and sleepy. i went back to my seat and fell asleep but woke up during the night because the seats were uncomfortable.

day 5: third day in los angeles

i woke up and it was saturday. i had been wearing the same clothes for some time. the sleeves of my cardigan were dimming at the edges. we had scrambled tofu for breakfast. i began to feel very 'adventist' again. we went to my friend's church. it was in loma linda. this is an adventist town. almost everyone who lives there is adventist. i grew up seventh-day adventist. i went to seventh-day adventist private schools my entire life. i just graduated college from one. i saw people from high school there. i saw people from college. i saw people from everywhere. i felt very afraid. i went inside a dark room. there was a 'praise band' playing music. it was indignantly 'progressive' but in reality, 'utterly innocuous'. my eyes got used to the dark and the band 'leader' was an asshole i knew from high school. i walked out immediately. i met a high school friend. we went to starbucks. we talked for a very long time. i went back to maranatha's. had potluck. watched an eroll morriss documentary about a plane crash. a few hours we left for LA again. we left a little later than i would've liked. i didn't want to be late to sound check. i felt very nervous. then we hit traffic. i could not do any of the things i usually do to help me deal with stress. i was in car. sitting. and with some strangers. i began to twitch. it was the first time it happened. i was going to be late. and every time i thought about that jerked or rolled my shoulders or something. we finally got the venue and i was exhausted. we tested our levels. outside some people from a web site were talking to us. they bought us beer at a 7-11 and i drank it behind a dumpster. i had left my wallet in someone's car. i couldn't get into the club. i had to wait oustide. the venue was 21+. the wallet came and i went in. i had a few more beers. i was nervous. all the bands played and then we played. i thought it was okay. i felt a little too nervous. maybe it sounded better than i thought. afterward we went back to the house and watched alejandro jorodowsky films. i was half asleep. i saw a caveman walked through a tunnel of life. i opened my eyes and it was the middle of the night. i had fallen asleep on the couch.

day 4: second day in los angeles

we woke up this morning and went down to that same cafe to eat. we would be doing some shooting for a website called white canvas, who i don't think are up and running yet. they picked us up and took us to griffith where we hiked up into the hills and played around. when i say 'they' i mean 'three people'. they were very nice but maybe a little too nice. they kept trying to be helpful and kept asking things and seeing if we were okay. i felt like a celebrity, it was uncomfortable. the hills were somewhat burned up because of some fire a number of months ago. we climbed up a hill and played music in a tree. then we did a faery reading for each other under these gnarled tree branches. after this it was nearly 1 pm and we had another compromise. so we finished and they took us back to silver lake. i fell asleep and when i woke up we were lost. finally we got to the house and paul, the manager of danielle's label, was waiting at the house. paul was super nice and very funny. he is a stylist by day and runs the label on the side. it is called manimal vinyl. he took us to a radio station. we would be playing some music on indie 103 and voices voices would be joining us. we showed up and moved all our gear in. it took us a little bit to set up. we played and it was good and fine. after this we all went to a english pub called cat and fiddle. by this time, my friend maranatha was supposed to come pick me up. she got lost for a little bit. she finally got there and i was very happy to see her. she taught english in prague with me. we left for her house in riverside and then i decided i hated los angeles. it took us an hour and a half to get there. traffic was terrible. even at night. having a car is the worst. we got to riverside and had dinner with some of her friends. there i met an aaron roche who turned out to be a very good musician. i listened to some of his music later and really liked it. we left and that night i fell asleep on the floor of maranatha's bedroom.